A question of trust

Have you ever been in a situation at work or at home where you don’t trust something someone’s doing for you, and you feel you have to watch over their every step? Maybe you think you’re the only person who can do something so it gets done right - which means you take on more work than you can handle?

Or do you find yourself being suspicious of people you don’t know and you feel unsafe around them? I’m not talking about people we meet in a dark alley where it may be prudent to run; but everyday people we come across who may wish to start up a conversation. 

I got to a point in my life where I became aware that not only did I not trust anything or anyone on the outside, but I didn’t trust myself either. I didn’t trust my ability to make the ‘right’ decision, or I’d angst over a decision I had to make, in case I made the ‘wrong’ choice. 

That was kind of scary for me. If I couldn’t trust myself, and I couldn’t trust the people around me, then who could I trust? I was constantly looking out for the next thing to go wrong, or for the next person to 'do me harm'. It was a very subtle pattern but a very debilitating one.

Luckily, I suppose you could say, the same kind of situations were repeating themselves over and over again, for me to see my mistrust and to enable me to choose for something better for myself. I wanted peace, and I began to see the fear thoughts weren’t real. By going inward and meditating, I reconnected to a greater force for good. A connection to all things - and my trust returned. It wasn't a blind trust, but a solid awareness that my world meant me no harm. It’s a much more open and exciting way to live.