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Desires

It is ingrained in human nature to have wishes and desires. We all have things that we wish for in our lives, things we would love to have or to accomplish. However beautiful they may be, desires can also cause stress. As soon as things seem to go different than we envisioned, we often start to feel unhappy. Or when things take longer than we planned for, we may start to feel stressed out.

There is nothing wrong with having a desire per se. In fact, it is what makes us human. Desires make us get off of our bums and start walking around and experiencing life. And isn’t that the purpose of it all? To experience life, to live it fully? Without desires we would probably just sit under a tree and do nothing all day. Now, unless you are Buddha, this is not really in line with what you came here to do in your life. Wishes are the inspiration, the sparks upon which we act and start moving around.

So what’s happening here, how come these beautiful inspirational gems are also causing stress sometimes? In fact, it is not the desires that cause us stress, it is the attachment to the outcome. It is the fact that we want to dictate exactly how, when and where things are meant to happen. A desire in itself is never the source of our stress. We just need to let go of the outcome.

It sounds so easy, to say: ‘Just let go and embrace whatever outcome arises’. But in daily life, this can be a little daunting sometimes. Especially when it’s something we really, really, really want. Letting go is never something we can actively do. We cannot sit on a chair and say: ok, I will now let go of this particular outcome. That would be like someone asking you not to think about a pink elephant. Guess where your attention goes then? Letting go can never be a goal on it’s own. It is actually a by-product of focusing on the still and quiet part that resides in each of us. So focusing on this still part, will automatically lead you to let go of whatever is not necessary. Without effort or even trying.

The key to this is allowing. Allowing everything to come to you in whatever form or shape. This is not the same as accepting. By accepting, we keep the idea in place that something is wrong. “Ok, it is not so cool, but hey, I will do my best to accept it”. By allowing, we let everything in, exactly as it is. This is where the true peace lies. This is where the non-attachment to the outcome comes from. And we do not have to do anything for it! How cool is that! Other than focusing on the still part within us, and the rest will take care of itself. Now, in the beginning, this may require some trusting. But just give it a try! After all, what do you have to lose?

When you have a desire, put it on the horizon of your future, like a dot. Find the still place inside yourself, the place where your very desire comes from and will go back to. Allow everything to unfold in whatever way. And then see what happens. Life may become a true adventure!